You are here:

An Ally’s Guide to Talking About Marriage for Same-Sex Couples (Archived Guide)

Authors

Movement Advancement Project
Freedom To Marry

The Bottom Line

Public support for allowing same-sex couples to marry is growing significantly, with national polls now consistently showing that a majority of Americans support the freedom to marry. This surge in support has followed years of important public and one-on-one conversations about marriage and same-sex couples—conversations that have helped move people away from being undecided on an “issue” and toward being supportive of marriage for loving, committed couples.

Among the building blocks for those conversations: a focus on the core values that embody marriage for same-sex and opposite-sex couples alike; helping people recognize that they wouldn’t want to deny others that indispensible chance at love and commitment in marriage; reminding people of how our shared beliefs—including treating others as we want to be treated, freedom, and not judging others—are at the heart of people’s journeys toward support; and sharing stories that allow people to see and embrace their own journey toward supporting the freedom to marry.

An Ally’s Guide to Talking About Marriage for Same-Sex Couples, updated for 2014 by Freedom to Marry and MAP, provides a comprehensive overview of these and other approaches for expanding the kinds of authentic, effective marriage conversations that are helping to build lasting support across geographic boundaries, political parties, generations and faith traditions.

An Ally's Guide to Talking about Marriage for Same-Sex Couples (2014)

Download

Recommended citation:

Movement Advancement Project and Freedom to Marry. April 2014. “An Ally’s Guide to Talking About Marriage for Same-Sex Couples.” MAP’s Talking About LGBTQ Issues Series. https://mapresearch.org/messaging-guide/an-allys-guide-to-talking-about-marriage-for-same-sex-couples/ June 12, 2026.

Related resources

Family Leave Laws
State family leave laws covering same-sex couples govern whether an LGBT person can take leave from work to care for their same-sex spouse or partner.
Religious Exemptions
State religious exemption laws permit people, churches, non-profit organizations, and sometimes corporations to seek exemptions from state laws that burden their religious beliefs. These laws have recently been used as a defense when businesses discriminate against or refuse service to LGBTQ customers and same-sex couples.
Marriage & Relationship Recognition
States with the freedom to marry do not ban same-sex couples from entering into legal marriages. However, most states still have constitutional amendments, statutes, or both banning marriage for same-sex couples, even after the 2015 Supreme Court case Obergefell extended marriage equality nationwide.
Targeted: Marriage Solemnization by Public Officials
LGBTQ People
LGBTQ people in the United States have families, work hard to earn a living, pay taxes, and serve their communities and their country. MAP offers a collection of resources addressing the many aspects of LGBTQ people’s lives.
LGBTQ Families
LGBTQ families are part of the fabric of neighborhoods and communities across the United States. An estimated two million children are being raised by LGBTQ parents. Decades of research shows that children with LGBTQ parents grow up as happy, healthy and well-adjusted as their peers.
Talking About Family Recognition Laws & LGBTQ Families
Family recognition laws establish a secure legal relationship between a child and their parent or parents. Learn conversation approaches that help people understand why strong legal child-parent ties are essential to a child’s security and well-being and why families—no matter how they are formed—should be treated equally under the law.
Community Acceptance: Resources for Communities Working with Transgender & Gender Diverse Children

Many people don’t understand what it means to be transgender or gender diverse, so some parents or family members struggle when their child comes out as transgender or gender diverse. It is natural for parents to have questions, and this document, jointly created by the Biden Foundation, Gender Spectrum, and

The Power of Affirming Community: How Local Spaces Support LGBTQ Youth Outcomes

Join our community

Get research updates, stories, and ways to support.